It’s from one’s friendships that one’s best and worst features are amplified and come to flourish. It’s important to remember that the greatest of friends is not only that who makes us feel good, and keeps our secrets safely away from the eyes and ears of the world, but that who in addition to emotional support also brings the best in us. A good friend is not just good to us but also encourages us to spread the same feeling to the world. And it does it by encouraging the best of what makes us who we are, while being of aid in keeping the darkest of dark side in us at bay.
Relationships take give and take. And one cannot be in one if the equality and reciprocity aspects of it are missing. Sometimes we make a mistake at picking friends or partners. We realize too late that the person we brought into our lives came not with the mission of bringing more life to life, but to just like a virus, bring upon the kind of destruction that not only affects the infected, but also anyone who comes in contact with him. The scars of a bad relationship are not experienced by the individual alone. But also anyone who in any way came in contact with the scared.
Sometimes the mind is not aware the whole of what you call you is in a predicament. But rest assured that the body does. So ask yourself. When I leave him or her, do I feel more or less energetic? Do I feel more or less confident? If you feel stronger when outside a supposed friend’s presence, chances are that they are the stone in the shoe that you chose to tolerate. They are taking from you. From your enjoyment of this experience, we call life. Remember that life is short. And on top of it you have only one. So make the most out it. Don’t suffer unnecessarily.
We often hear that the best friends or relationships for that matter, are the ones in which the other person is better than us in some way. From this line of reasoning, by spending time with them the sprinkles of their success in that department will rub onto us. And we will as a result, be as great as them, or at least greater than we are. While I agree with it, I also suggest doing the reverse. To be that friend who is the better one in some way. To befriend someone whose life you think you could improve. Even if they can’t do a thing for you in return. To help them be as good as you are or at the very least better than they are. While you might not get anything tangible for it you still get an attenuation of the inner and selfish child. You become less of a narcissist I mean. And that’s a win.
At the end of the day, there is nothing more relaxing than a friendship that doesn’t feel like work. I’m not talking about the productive and difficult discussions that lead to growth. There is a difference between the kind of thing that make us better in the long run much like vegetables and medicine, and the kind of thing that contributes to the perpetual and battery-draining effects of what we call living life. If it genuinely feels like work you’re doing something wrong, and that might just be everything. Cut your losses.
It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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