In this post, you’ll find a few tips as well as great books for low moments.
Life is full of ups and downs. I’m sure you’ve heard that before but the truth is that just like most things we hear and agree without having to make any effort, this too quickly slides right to the back of our minds. Don’t believe it? The proof is on the countless moments in which the lows of life came and just like the time before you received the moment of trial with surprise as opposed to with the front that only the true stoic would present when facing the latest adversity life brought to him/her.
I guess is the first tip already, and just in case you haven’t been paying attention it goes as follows: expect the good moments not to last. Expect the bad moments to come, and apply the same rule in reverse. This is life. Most people fall into one of two categories: 1)those who expect only the good, and 2) those who expect only the bad. Just like most things in life this too is not black and white. To say life is joy or suffering is the same as eating a spicy dish, and saying the dish is the spice. To try to reduce life to a single word is an act of laziness, which more than just harmless can also be harmful since it’s based on your definition of what life is that you make decisions about your own, which might lead you to a happy and fulfilling life, or a bitter and resentful one.
Best books for low moments
The big question of life and perhaps the most important of them all is: how do you handle the lows? The highs tend to be intuitive. It’s true that one has to take care so it doesn’t lose itself in the wave of fortune a fortunate moment can bring. It’s also true that it’s quite possible to extract misery from an extremely joyful moment simply because we are/were not mature enough to handle it. It’s the classic case of the overnight millionaire or billionaire, who takes itself back to poverty because of its inability to handle the sudden ocean of wealth that came to him/her.
Although this is a real problem, a more pressing one is still that of facing adversity. That of finding a way out of a hole, and as it’s often said, to put yourself in the position to even having the problem of having to manage an excessive amount of good fortune.
The way one handles the lows can define one’s life from the moment on. Bad handling of the bad moments of life is probably one of the most dangerous parts of unfortunate moments since the outcomes can be as bad as one ending its life, to not necessarily less important also learning the wrong things from their latest challenging life lesson.
What books tend to be the best and why
First things first, it’s important to be aware that in low moments, any book or blog post claiming that it has the solutions for all kinds of lows is just trying to deceive you. Just like depression the nature of each low moment can be different, and along with the differences also come the resistance to any one size fits all kind of solution. Just like with depression each case might require different solutions, and just because one thing worked for someone, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will for everybody.
One thing to consider, however, is the increased likelihood of success that comes from listening to and implementing the solutions of a person who went through something similar as you’re currently going through. Hence it follows that if nothing of value is taken from this post, the one take away to pay attention to is to look for people who have gone through what you’re going through and lived to tell the story.
The one thing by Gary Keller
It might be a bit strange for anyone to think of this book as the first on the list but it all makes sense. I’m sure the expectation is to hear about a “feel good” kind of book that promises you everything will be alright. Although such books can be helpful, most of them don’t really do much in forcing you to get into problem-solving mode. The one thing asks you to focus on what matters and the reason why this can make the difference is that when in low moments, the real source of it tends to be the feeling of being overwhelmed by life. In one moment everything was alright and now it seems as if the universe is out to get you. Everything seems to be wrong, and whatever you try will fail. At least that’s your brain tells you. Telling yourself everything will be alright might be useful for the short term, but in the long run, it will be nothing more than a momentary fix. It’s the same as taking substances to alleviate the badness of life, but now the only difference is that: 1) It’s totally legal, and 2) Society might even congratulate you for it.
What The one thing asks you to do is to get to the meat of the matter. The source of the problem, and to look for the one action that will have the greatest impact on it. Not just what will help, because many things can be helpful, but what will help the most.
The obstacle is the way by Ryan Holiday
The next book on the list is The obstacle is the way, and just like the first suggestion, it might not be what you expect. While the one thing directs you towards greater clarity of thought through cold hard logic and problem solving, The obstacle is the way takes a somewhat different approach.
As the title says for itself, it’s about looking at the trials of life from a different angle. Instead of complaining about what fate has dealt you, to look for, as the author says “The Gift”. He teaches the reader to look deeper. To look through the self -evident disadvantageous position you’re in, and see what you have to gain from having to go through it. From the perspective of the muscle, the weight is a burden. A reason to complain about its role in the body. Life is sometimes to the mind what the weight is to the muscle, a large tree lying in the middle of the road that forces growth upon us in creatively and often inconvenient ways.
The idea that from any situation is a lesson to be learned, and that each stressful life event makes us stronger as long as we decide to persist has been around for a while, but it doesn’t get the credit and attention it deserves. One proof of that is also in the countless moments in which we choose to complain about a trying life event as opposed to focusing on the gift the trying moment brings with it. But the gift is there. It’s always there. Even we fail to see it, and I guess this is the reason why it’s often the case that after the survivor of a trying event crosses the surviving moment, the survivor is able to develop a weird sense of gratitude for the trying moment, since now, they are able to see how much better the bad made them.
Can’t Hurt me by David Goggins
The last and by no means the least important book on the list is Can’t hurt me. Many might find this to be inspirational as it helps them get out of the mental hole and that should be expected. One thing that makes the book powerful is its ability to encourage the reader to go out and do the hard things in life. The things you’re so desperately avoiding right now, while also hoping it will magically go away. The book takes us through the journey of the writer. From being the kind of individual with low accountability and very little standards for himself to becoming one of the living examples of self-discipline and mental strength.
For this one it might also be useful to watch his videos on youtube since they can also be as inspiring as the book itself.1)
It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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