Monthly Archives: May 2021

How to improve empathy

1.The first step towards empathy is to accept the fact that life is difficult. Not for you only, or those whom you find it easy to empathize with, but to every single one of us. And this is true regardless of whether you find some people’s struggles unjustifiable, or whether you even consider them to be true struggles in the first place or not. A struggle is a struggle.

2.The simplest path to empathy is to put yourself through the same difficulties of others. And I don’t mean just trying what they tried, but to replicate all the initial conditions of the experiment that made them struggle. The reason for this is that we often have natural advantages or privileges we’re either not aware of or don’t acknowledge, and these are the same things that make the act of empathy so difficult sometimes. If you’re naturally predisposed to find being social pleasing, or math concepts easy to understand, to truly feel what the socially awkward feel or what the D student goes through, can be so foreign to you as to lead you to the conclusion that the socially awkward have to grow a thicker skin, D students should stop being lazy, and the depressed should just “shake it off.” So to empathize one has to, in some sense become the subject of its empathy. To understand someone is to become that someone. Even if only for a brief moment, before you go about being yourself again.

3.Empathy is one of the few areas of life in which the power of reciprocity shines its brightest. One may wonder how to be understood. How to be the target of more empathetic acts, and the easiest way to go about it is by building credit. By practicing more true acts of empathy yourself. Not to just claim you understand someone when you don’t, because more often than not people can sense it, as you do when someone does it to you. When you try to understand what someone is going through, you break from the mutual battle for attention and understanding, and you open the doors for the kind of connection we all crave. The kind of connection you can only experience when you become one another because again, true empathy is only possible when you stop being yourself and become the person you’re trying to empathize with.

4.A part of what makes a person wise is the ability to empathize with someone without having to go through what they went through. You always assume you’re not above making mistakes, and thus allow yourself to learn from a painful lesson without ever having to pay the price. You get to learn not because you’re a genius of sorts, but because deep down you know you can be as much of an idiot as everyone else. So you cherish every lesson regardless of the hand that gives it away.

It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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How to grow your intellect

1.The intellect is what shows when the skin of ignorance is painfully ripped off the ego. What remains is something new, more refined, and a person with a much more bounded ego.

2.If you try to become smarter or wiser overnight you will most likely fail. There is no way around it. What’s odd is that we have no trouble understanding that to become fit one must commit to fitness over time. To become wealthy one must commit to finance and improving its income over time. The way to become smart or wise is to commit to learning overtime, and this is of course after you shed yourself from the belief that only some selected few are born with the ability to know things.

3.To grow intellectually, it’s important to be aware of the fact that ignorance will be a lifetime companion no matter how much you learn. Ignorance just like the shadow will always be somewhere around the corner, and it will make itself visible if you only look for it. Just remember that just because the shadows is out of sight, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

4.As you grow intellectually it’s important not to get drunk on your knowledge, and the first sign of this drunkenness will not be in the form of slurred speech or aimless walk, but in the form of arrogance, and unbounded and thus unrealistic confidence on your own abilities. This is the exact moment when you stop growing intellectually.

It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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How to be accountable part 2

1.What makes accountability such a scary monster is the fear of failure. It’s when you allow yourself to be one if need be, that taking ownership becomes much easier. And this is at the end what matters the most. Not the fact that whoever is in charge succeeds on its actions, but that someone is in charge in the first place, as often enough, it is the case that a successful venture is only possible after a series of successive failures.

2.The tendency to treat responsibility like a hot potato to be passed over to anyone regardless of fitness is one of the biggest stiflers of accountability. Drowning the urge to point fingers is often the first and only step to getting things done in life.

3.Self-esteem and accountability may seem unrelated at first glance, but there is an often indirect but yet powerful relationship between the tendency to expect others to make things happen and one’s self-trust to do so. Delegation is at the end of the day an expression of some lack within, and the perpetual delegator throws not just others, but also himself under the bus with each self-excluding claim that someone should have done something. Each time a finger is pointed outwards, there is always one coming inwards if only you open your eyes.

4.Accountability is to the human character what exercise is to the muscles. A door we’re all averse to, but that when opened leads to self-transcendence. When you find yourself on the other side you’re glad for it. You’re much better off as a person, and you know it, and you may even wonder why you didn’t do it before. The funny thing is that the fear of the doorknob never goes away completely. The next one after that always presents us with the same challenge, even if you’ve been through thousands of other scary doors before. The only consolation is that the struggle although chronic gets easier with each successful attempt at getting over the many inner blocks that urge us to freeze or flight, instead of fighting and progressing.

It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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