Monthly Archives: March 2021

A few thoughts on responsibility

1.Responsibility as we know it is one of the many life celebrities often cast in a bad light. The old and unspoken untrue truth is that responsibility is a slow old man with no sense of humor, who sees the world in black and white and hates kids. Responsibility is that who comes to shut down the party just when begins to reach its peak so we think. Great moments don’t come that often, and anything that stops the “play hard to get” state we call flow, or “the zone” should be abolished. Outcasted. What you forget is that when you do what you’re supposed to do when it’s supposed to be done, time is not scarce but plentiful. And when you have time, you don’t have to worship every second just like a starving child does with every bread crum or grain of rice. Great moments are shy by nature, and they come when you don’t expect them to. When they are not forced to come into being. When they finally reach the hard to reach balance between carefulness and carelessness. Which can only happen you have the most time to spare. When you are responsible when you’re supposed to be responsible. A great moment is the favorite child of spontaneity, a grandchild of free and uninterrupted time, and a great-grandchild of responsibility when responsibility is required.

2.On the other side of the coin of responsibility lies the pressure to perform, as with ownership comes not only the praise but also the demand for results. And this is why most people stay away from responsibility. The psychological burden of making things happen is too heavy to carry.

3.Responsibility can be scary and soul-eating monster when unhandled, the biggest promoter of misery when you’re aware of its existance but do nothing about it, and your best friend when you make it a priority. As taking care of business today and now is not just good for the near future, but also for the long term, especially when you and the many future past versions of you work together, just to make this specific point in the future better than all that came before it.

4.Responsibility is the agent that kicks the metamorphosis from child to adult. And this is the reason why mature children and childish adults are even a thing. Maturity is not a badge of honor given only by the virtue of blowing enough candles in birthday cakes but attributed to those who grab not only their life and fate by the collar, and maybe even someone else’s life and fate. They’ve accepted the heavy psychological load of making things happen when it was requested of them. And that’s when they became “born again” and turned into someone else altogether. Someone more akin to a stranger, though the stranger is no one other than themselves. A better version of the past despite the nonstop craving for the illusory peace and comfort that comes from not being responsible for anything.

5.Responsibility is more than just a tool to virtue signal one’s “goodness” to the world. Responsibility is also a sign of confidence with regards to oneself.Trust.Self-respect. By taking ownership you say more than that the task will be seen to completion. By accepting or rejecting when an opportunity for responsibility shows itself, you say quite a bit about your opinion of yourself. By taking responsibility you say without saying that you are an active contributor to society, as even when you’re the only beneficiary of your ownership, society still gains something in one way or another. When you take ownership for your life, you eventually improve it. Which makes you better as a person, more and more positive and motivated. Which makes you more creative and rare are the instances in which the product of a creative act is selfish, even when the mind that gave birth to it had selfish intents the second before genesis.

It is all about knowledge and experience 😉

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How to make better decisions

How to make better decisions

1.Clear thinking is the bread and butter of good decision-making. The easiest way to improve the quality of your decisions is to stay away from any kind of decision-making for some preset time, be that a day, a week, or a month. Over time the same emotions that gave you a false sense of certainty will fade, and then, and only then will you know for sure how true clarity looks like and feels.

2.The more you learn the better decision-maker you become, simply for the virtue of being more aware of what you need to be aware of before making a decision. And this is even more important than just being right, as there isn’t much of a difference between that who makes the right decision despite its lack of information and wisdom to do so, and that who simply makes the wrong decision. The true decider is not the Wiseman or woman within, but the gigantic and outer coinflip we call serendipity. Sure you won today, but can you be certain you will tomorrow?

3.Decision-making is a process improved by the application of intentional reasoning. The end product, meaning the final decision, must be the result of a rational series of steps starting from a sensible personal theory or hypothesis and culminating with the choice of the best possible next step you can think of. Leaving any part of it to lady luck may lead you to what you want in the short term, but it won’t make you any better as a decision-maker in the long. The next time around you will find yourself once more thirsting for the coin-flip, and the results may not be as good.

When you’re rigorous about the way you make decisions, failure becomes the teacher that tells when something is wrong somewhere in the homework but without giving any details, and it’s by tweaking each step that you learn more about the system as a whole. It’s only then that you change it from the scarily mysterious, to the comfortably familiar. Familiar enough to make you feel like and realize that leaving any decision to chance is a bad idea.

4.Like old wisdom says, there is a lot more to be learned from a defeat than there is from a victory. There are gold nuggets of knowledge to be found from a decision deemed wrong by a retrospective look at the past. As at the core of every bad decision lie the traces of whatever personal weakness or character flaws that led you to it in the first place. It’s not enough to ask what you did wrong, but what about you made you do it.
And maybe, just maybe, you will get to prevent not only a single mistake from repeating itself, but an entire class of possible errors of judgment, without ever having to pay the price.

5.It’s from decision to decision that the saw of decision making is sharpened, eventually enough as to allow for the selection of not only the next step, but the right next step from the set of other possible future steps… all of that under the context of the many more that need to be taken to make a vision a reality, whatever it may be, from the smallest goals, so little we don’t even give them the title of “goals”, to the largest of the visions with the power to change not only a single life, but humanity as we know it. The only way to get better at deciding is to decide to decide more often, and to accept that even the best of us are not immune the blunders that come from choosing what to do next and mean it, even when by “meaning it” we mean sticking not just a finger or an arm out, but sometimes even the neck if not the soul for it.

It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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How to be social

1.The first step towards more rewarding social interactions is by becoming a more interesting person to spend time with in the first place, and the way to that is by experiencing life more often, while learning more about more. The more you learn and experience, the more you’ll have to talk about, regardless of whether you’re one on one with a captivating extrovert who also traveled around the world, or on the stage attempting to entertain a crowd of socially awkward and nagging introverts. Rember that being socially skilled has nothing to do with introversion/extroversion. Social skill comes with inner value, built through life experiences and acquired wisdom, wrapped in the interesting mini-stories that make up great conversations.

//Become more self-aware
2.It’s not enough to think about or look at you the way you see yourself. The way you come off to others is arguably more important, as the quality of your social interactions will be heavily defined by the story your behavior tells, regardless of whether that story is reflective of who you truly are or not. Learn to see yourself from someone else’s perspective, and adjust your behavior accordingly.

//Remember…It’s not about you
3.Social interactions are one of the few things in life whose quality tends to decrease with increased care. The more you care the tenser you become, which brings you closer to that which you fear the most. There is a contradictory and yet effective beauty in not caring about what people think. The fact that you don’t care about how a given social interaction will go makes you more relaxed, and then more spontaneous, which in turn makes you look more and more like a social genius now, even if you didn’t carry the same reputation in previous circles.

//Practice, Practice. Practice
4.Like most things in life, being social can also be improved through practice, as there are lots of lessons to be learned by listening and by doing. The only difference is that the lessons learned by doing stay with you for a lifetime. The brain may forget the lesson, but the body won’t. And this remains true even when you’re unable to verbalize the why behind your ways.

It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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