In this post, we’ll have a quick discussion on how to be a better communicator.
communication is the most important part of a human to human interactions. We are at our core social beings, and to be social we need to have the ability to transmit the thoughts we have to other people. In essence, communication is an attempt to copy the thoughts and ideas we produce within our skulls and paste them into other brains that might be in different states or experiencing different things.
How to become a better communicator
To be a better communicator is more than just knowing what to say. We focus too much on the right works or body language postures that we forget the one and most important thing behind all of that, and this is what this post is about.
1.Learn to simulate other brains than your own
The first and most important thing to communicating better is to be able to enter other people’s perspectives. In a debate or argument, it’s common now to say we understand, even when we don’t. To truly understand is to enter someone else’s perspective. To feel what they feel. So see what they see, and to some degree be them and not us.
When you manage to do this successfully the right words and body language postures come more easily. It’s the old problem of the master trying to teach basic concepts to beginners. When the master truly understands the pains and difficulties of the beginner they can more easily tailor their explanation to the pupils.
To communicate better you need to truly understand your audience. Only then you can better say what you want to say in a way that will produce the desired effect. When you don’t know the audience you act more like the troops do when they don’t know their enemy. With a plan for sure, but no certainty with regards to the plan’s effectiveness.
2. Pay attention to your ego
The next important thing to think about when it comes to communication is the ego. The ego is there to show and tell us how awesome we are. Criticism no matter how constructive is off-limits. So they are never brought up and we go through life thinking we’re above everybody even as we try to pretend to be humble.
So anything we create is automatically subject to bias, even when the creation is our communication. The question of how well we communicated our ideas or feelings to the target audience will likely get the answer of “A+” from us. Asking whether that answer is biased or not is difficult since it might imply that we’re not perfect. It might imply that we haven’t’ the job well, or at least that not as perfect as we think we are.
The idea is to study our attempts at communication soberly. To know for sure when we did it successfully and to know when we failed at the task. Because it’s only when we can truthfully spot the mistakes that we can improve. We can study and practice. We can in essence become better communicators. Instead of just listening to what other people think makes better communication, we can also become contro=ibutors through our own experiences. We try something new and through feedback we can see what works and what doesn’t. and hopefully, we can share that with the world.
- Read more books
The next tip might sound a bit counter-intuitive but hang in there. Reading books has the reputation of turning regular people into antisocials. The way Hollywood portrays reading is in a way that makes us think that reading automatically implies that your social interactions will somehow take a hit. The truth is that people who have social problems tend to gravitate into reading, but it’s not necessarily the case that the reverse is true.
The more you read the more you can share. The better you can understand your points of view, and with the increased understanding also comes an increased ability to explain regardless of the degree of knowledge of the target audience. Someone once said that if you can’t explain something simply then you don’t truly understand the concept. This is what reading books is about. To gain a deeper understanding of everything around us, including our deep-rooted beliefs and feelings.
4.Force yourself to be the center of attention
The next tip is to force yourself to be the center of attention and to handle it. For the most part, we avoid being the center of attention. This is so much of a widespread behavior that society tends to have a dirty look for those who go out of their way to be noticed. The thing about being the center of attention is that just like everything in life it’s a skill. The more you re the center of attention the better you can handle it. A part of social interactions is the anxiety of social interactions. The kind of anxiety that makes even the most eloquent of us mute. When you can handle being the center of attention you can manage to successfully bring out those eloquent aspects of your personality you keep caged in the private realm. The kind of eloquence only your friends and loved ones know about.
5.Monitor and control your energy levels
The next tip is to pay attention and attempt to take control of your energy levels. you might not notice it, but your energy levels have an effect on your peers through your communication. Giving a speech with a high/positive energy level versus giving it with a low/negative can literally make the difference between saying something inspirational and sating something downright pessimistic/negative. The right energy can make the difference between sounding like you’re knowledgable and confident and sounding like someone trying hard to sound knowledgable and confident.
So keep track of your energy levels and take the necessary steps to make sure they are at a peak when you have an important speech to give.
- Write more
The next tip is to write more. There is a big difference between communicating an idea verbally versus doing it through the written word. When you communicate verbally you can afford to do it poorly, since humans are good at filling in the blanks of what you’re saying to extract the meaning. This is done for the most part with the aid of whatever non-verbal ques you happen to be displaying at the moment.
When you write on the other hand there are no non-verbal crouches. You either communicate your ideas clearly, or the reader will have a difficult time understanding what you’re trying to say. You’re forced to think more about what you’re trying to communicate, and since you can’t really communicate impulsively through writing, there is more time available to reflect on the validity of your ideas.
7.Develop relationships with all kinds of people
The next tip is to begin forming relationships with different kinds of people. We tend to gravitate around people who are in some way or another more like us. When like them better when we have shared experiences or backgrounds. The problem is that we missout on a large part of the population. People with different experiences and perspectives have the power to change us into something better. We learn that our own way of living or seeing things is not the only valid one, and that are different ways of doing things out there that might be just as good if not better.
How is this useful in communication? Well, the more varied your social circle the more training in different styles of communication you get. Now you can learn to appreciate the uniqueness of groups you’d previously put in a neat box. This is to say that in the same way that a member of a group can be unique in its own way, so can a group of people you already have some preconceived notions about. Sometimes a particular group of people borrows traits from other unrelated groups, and that’s where their uniqueness comes from.
At the end of the day communication like anything else in life is a skill. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Many of the tips written out here could have been easily learned without having to read this post. Many of them would come to you in the form of insights. The kind of insights only work in the field can reveal to you.
The more you practice the arts of communication and persuasion, the better you get at the very important skill of comfort. Comfort while addressing other humans is what ultimately allows you to be more creative on your approach. The anxiety of saying the wrong thing is often what makes you say the wrong thing. With experience comes comfort, and for a moment you get to lean back on your past experiences, and you can watch yourself perform just like a singer in a sold-out show.
It is all about knowledge and experience 😉
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